( This post is gonna be just about my thoughts on myself and nothing more than a introspection…but nothing like too personal…if the reader thought of getting some common news from this post, then sorry…you can opt out of reading this…)
After a long time ….I’m looking into myself in terms of relationships. Long time back….read a SMS quoting that,
“Blessed is a person who is too busy to worry at Day time
& too tired to worry at Night time”
really a true one. I was actually like this for the past two years…..day and night full of works…thoughts full of commitments towards job….times full of dreams about the passion. Because of this I was out of every close relationships….and out of all my routines. And I sort of enjoyed it too. I was really fed up with my experiences on the relationships previously….so I felt more relaxed when I was fully loaded with works and commitments towards work. Really life was so much beautiful with all these new experiences.
Every time when I get some bad experiences from the relationships in some way I took it as I’m getting used with things and I’m getting more strength to handle the EQ side of me. But recently things were proven wrong. Again I was hit hardly and loosing my control. I hate this part of mine. Where all my experiences gone. Even I got hit even worse in the past…this time this is sort of new thing to handle. Where all my strengths have gone ?? So wats the use in learning lessons from all my experiences. Don’t know answer for all these questions. I hate myself for finding it hard to handle the situation now. I never wanted to be in this situation again. But I’m in tat. There is no one to Blame…seriously I have no one to blame for this situation. Every one knows wat they want clearly and they move of with no reason or no explanation. I’m very tired of pulling answers and making a point in myself.
I’m not in Love, I’m not in committed relationships and not made anyone to be like tat with me. But things were misinterpreted , things were misjudged. This time its not about loosing…its all about hating myself for not able to handling things.
I don’t know why I get all these experiences all the time….I don’t know wat this life tries to teach me. I’m really tired of taking things positive….I’m tired of fooled myself by saying some self answers for the unanswered questions. I’m tired of going down to the core for asking a reason. I hate this part of myself. The end result is, I again started loosing faith in relationships….started loosing interest in relationships. I know this is not good for rest of my life. One should never loose faith in relationships. I’m really tired of these unwanted lessons for life. When it comes to relationships its useless to learn from one and another…just have to face it…tats it. RELationships should actually be seen as “REALationships”. Adding “A” will give more meaning to the word relationship.
I doubt that I have some serious problem with my EQ side. Because how many times I loose…this time it’s even worse….totally upside down. This is not a big issue that I am not able to solve it….good thing is I have sorted out myself a lil and things are good now. But wat matters is….how fast we are reacting and getting out of the things. Finally….. I should learn to develop some EGO on both personal and professional side. It helps a lot in this practical world. Just be practical in this practical world. Get used with the latest trends…even if it is in relationships.
Just little hope and the term “ Life is always Beautiful” and its the human who makes it ugly and complicated. So still believe in me for making this life more beautiful than ever. Long way to go…!