Heights took me low…!

Heights of ignoring, heights of insulting, heights of misunderstanding, heights of showing anger, heights of avoiding, heights of feeling irritated, heights of hating, heights of getting hurt…all these heights makes me very low…! I hate this for no reason….life is not at all beautiful with all these things…! This is too much to handle for my tiny , tired brain…..too much to handle…!

Nothing to blame..except me.  Just thought of penning this in my public diary ( Casanova ). Wish things will fade away the next morning after a tight sleep…! Life will be so much beautiful…the next morning…!

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Just another day …!

Dec 06 – I call it as opportunists day.  A normal date , which was changed into controversial date on Dec 06th,1992.  Babri Mosque – Ayodhya debate. It was a preplanned incident by some Hindu Nationalists. Since then, every year the Dec 06 is prone to some dangerous activities.

This day is cruelly used for the cheap politics for getting the votes of Muslims. Every political party will announce some protests, meetings etc., on this day. They make use of this day every year. I hope the incident would have been vanished from peoples mind ,if these politicians had not made any protests and meetings every year.

Sign of Peace

Peace

Wish to have Dec 06 as a day of peace, a day without any extra security checks, a day without any bomb blasts and attacks, a day without any opportunistic meetings and protests.Let’s celebrate this day as a day of unity between two religions.  Finally I just want it as a another normal day in December month.

for some reason ….!

Tuesday nit me and my frnd went to theater complex to watch movie. Among the movies screened there we felt Raman Thediya Seethai would be better. And the movie was not bad. But for some reason I would have not watched this movie. Excellent performance by Pasupathi as a visually challenged RJ and decent performance by Nithin sathya and good job by Cheran.

Pasupati - Raman Thediya Seethai

Pasupati - Raman Thediya Seethai

……Yes I am sure, I would not have watched this movie !

Lost in the Way to Destiny …!

The following letter is the last words written by one of my close friend. He got introduced to me in the second year of my diploma (1999). A very interesting chap. But he faced lots of problems and he will share everything to me. Few months back he sent me a mail with the following contents and some more. I was just afraid after reading that …but he deserves it and nothing we can help. And now he is sick and counting his days and he just wanted to express some of his thoughts to others.

With his permission , here is the part of the mail he sent to me ….! Wish him all the peace for his rest of the days in his life …!

Am I loosing my way to destiny ? Who am I ? What I am going to be ? AM I in the right path/Direction ?
Am I lost anywhere ? Am I loosing my identity ? Do I have individuality ? Am I a normal person ? Am I acting smart ? Am I a looser ? Am I missed out somewhere? I am in search of ?

F…..g introspection kills me. I feel like I am nowhere in this world. I lost my interest in living. But still I am alive. I don’t want to kill myself…but I don’t want to live. I never felt like this in my lifetime. But why now ? IS that any tragedy happened to me ? I have the answers ? But who is going to ask the questions ? I have thousand things to say Why I am like this …but still I do not have a single reason to say why I should be like this.

Feels like a lonely bitch in this universe. I don’t want to see human beings in front of me. Or I want others do not see me. Hope the second one would be better. My life is full of complications now ! and its me who made it complicated.

I am afraid of sleeping every night. I hate waking up every morning. It pains when I woke up every morning. My mind feels the pain. My brain feels the pain.
Simple the thought comes …that I should not awake the next morning. I have no responsibilities right now. I am not committed to any one. I have no curses..I have only wishes…but still I complicated my life. I wish I should be muted one day. Wish the days should be soon.

I lost my confidence in my career…I am loosing my interest in relationships … I am afraid of emotions. I want to go my way home …without disturbing any one. But without hurting any one I can’t go my way home. Few will be hurt for whatever may be my decisions. I don’t know what to do. I am nowhere to take my own decisions. But I don’t have any one to help me taking decisions. I made like that. I can’t go and tell anyone about my problem. Everything is hidden.
If i reveal my issues , it will ruin some others lives. But nothing is ugly or bad with my issues. But still it won’t be acceptable by others.

I am just counting the times of smiling in a day. Just counting the moments I am really happy. I am just counting the minutes that I was not thinking about my issues. I want to break my head and wish to throw of all my problems and issues and I wish to reborn to live this life fully. I don’t want to be different. wish to be one among the self centric guys in this planet Earth.

I wish to forget everyone and every thing. I want the childhood back…but not child hood I had/lived. I want a normal childhood as a normal children. I am confused. I am loosing my way to destiny.Time can heal anything. But cannot seal. The problems healed by time can be affected by other things easily. I wish to seal my problems and not to heal. I am getting punished for what I did. Will I be alive to live my life after the punishment got over ?

Still..I believe in doing wonders to this earth. I am not a normal person. I am unique. AS of now I wish to have a peacefull sleep and not to awake the next morning. Good night.

August 20th – Just another (beautiful) day…!

Today August 20, this is the so called special day for me. This date has an importance in my life. I have lots of reasons to say why I like this day very much and on the other side I have few things to say why I still hate this date.

On the positive side , this date is the root cause of everything in me. This date is the cause of my so called happiness , worries ,achievements and failures. This date gave me the so called beautiful Life. After all these years I have learnt to take this day a another usual day in my Life.

yes …. August 20 of every year is my B’day.  🙂

Ps:- After I pulished this post , I have noticed that in the categories list I have selected the following ,

Life is beautifulA day to remember , A day to forget , Another day in my life , thoughts on my day

its a coincidence , but really Interesting …!

A day to forget – Kumbakonam fire accident

July 16th 2004 , a heart breaking fire accident happened in a school at Kumbakonam,TamilNadu. The fire took around 90 plus childrens lives and their parents hopes/dreams. We cannot blame anyone except the educational departmetn for not considering about the thatched roofs for the class rooms and other building inside the school. Anyways after this incident strict rules were followed and most of the schools are asked to replace the thatched roofs with alternatives.

Same situation is now in the quality of education in the Government schools, do the government need any historical accident/incident to happen for taking some serious steps on improving the quality of education ? . Good infrastructure will keep the children in a comfortable place, but without quality in education they are going to get nothing except the comfortable place and a mid day meals with two eggs per week.

Just building a memorial in Palakarai,Kumbakonam with 14000 sq for a cost estimate of 60 lakhs will not be a solution for his accident. Apart from this lets improve all the schools by providing state of the art facilities with quality in infrastructure and Education.  Let’s put the 90 plus children’s soul in peace by improving the lives of the other children’s with the Equality in Quality Education.